Because nobody ate him.

Sorry for raising any suspicions!

So, how ’bout that scary incident yesterday?

Here's what happened:

While riding in a helicopter - paragons of safety though they may be - between one extremely dangerous stop on the Middle East Voting Tour of DOOM and another extremely dangerous stop on the Middle East Voting Tour of DOOM, Senators Kerry, Biden, and Hagel found themselves in the midst of a giant blizzard.

I don't know a whole lot about the weather over there, but apparently, the snow was so bad, it seemed safer to land on a mountain in Afghanistan for three hours and wait for a convoy of troops to rescue them.

I know it's over, and I know everybody's fine, but, Holy Flippin' Crap, you know?

To his credit, JK kept his sense of humor over the whole thing: "We sat up there and traded stories," Kerry joked. "We were going to send Biden out to fight the Taliban with snowballs, but we didn't have to do it."

I'm glad it didn't come to that. Or to having to eat Chuck Hagel! Should I be concerned that he does not appear in this photo of the other two senators, decked out in their 8th-grade Chorus Concert finery:

Part of me, most of me, is so glad that JK looks relatively warm and toasty in that pic. It's just another unfortunate aspect of the whole event that I can't bring myself to say what I think of those socks. I may be known for my writing on ties, but heaping scorn upon white socks is where my true talent lies.

But these white socks shall go unpunished. In fact, if they saved the toes of our favorite senator, I salute them heartily.

And at least he didn't wear a mock turtleneck.

The news out of Texas is that JK will be speaking there tomorrow, which has got to be welcome news to all Kerrycrats. Because, as we all know, JK's fans tend to engage in some serious Mother Hen action. Sometimes with good reason!

Until next time, Kerry On, and be sure to check out the latest from the Roadblock Republicans site. You will never read the Congressional Record the same way again!

OMG!

Is this my fault? Because I said "Be safe in Pakistan" and not "Don't take any helicopters through the snow"?